Into the Woods
by emletish
Summary: Ozai casts a curse on the whole of the Avatar-verse - they are banished to the strange land of storybrooke, Maine. An ATLA/Once upon a Time cross over. Shameless silliness and shenanigans will ensue. Also eventual Zutara.
1. the big red button

Into the woods.

-o-

The big red button.

-o-

The button was almost asking to be pushed really. That is what big red buttons are for. There are many warnings posted around the button. The largest of which states:

**Don't push this button – it is close to the edge. **

Well so is Ozai.

In fact, Ozai isn't even close to the edge any more. "Close to the edge" is charitable term for where Ozai is at. He's already gone off the deep end, big time!

Ever since he was beaten during the comet by the child Avatar he has been consumed with thoughts of revenge! The Avatar made the mistake of leaving him alive. It was such an insult! He'd wanted a good and classy villain's death. He wanted to fall off something high at least. Was at least being allowed to fall off a tower too much to ask?

But no, he was left alive – as if he wasn't even a threat any more. Well, Ozai was about to prove the child Avatar wrong! He'd escaped from prison, and now the only thing left was to enact his plan.

He stroked the button lovingly. His key to revenge was right here, in his grandfather's "secret lab". He didn't even know what it did. Granddaddy Sozin had always been a bit sketchy about what the button did – but Ozai was sure it was bad. Even Sozin thought pushing it was a **mistake** and making it had been **a bad idea. **

Pushing the button might not be a good idea – but it is a better alternative to a life in prison.

-o-

The Avatar, all his friends and Ozai's traitorous son, burst into the chamber, trying to stop him. They obviously got his note containing his evil and detailed monologue about his plan, so the only thing left for Ozai to do is to laugh manically, in response to the Avatar's shout.

"Stop Ozai – You don't have to do this!"

"Mwahahaha! You cannot stop me Avatar!"

Indeed it is true – they cannot. Without further messing about or monologuing (this was why Ozai planned ahead and sent the note. So many villains come unstuck in the monolgue) Ozai presses the button.

-o-

There is a woosh.

-o-

The last thing he sees of his own world, before the Avatar crashes into him, is his traitorous son quickly thrust a gold chain with a dangling pendant into the waterbender's hand. Ozai recognises it as a talisman of protection from random evil curses.

He feels his eyes narrow in disapproval. There are only two of those in the world – one of them is in an unmentionable place. The other was with his son. How much of an idiot is Zuko?! Giving his one shot at guaranteed survival to the smelly peasant waterbender?

Honestly what is wrong with that boy?

Was he dropped on his head as a child?

Ozai's almost completely sure he didn't...

-o-

At that moment the Avatar crash-tackles into him, the world lurches, and spins and twirls and blurs.

Everything goes dark.

-o-

Ozai wakes up in a small town called Storybrooke, in a region called Maine, which lies in a land called America. He is now a very sexy woman called Regina. All of his bottled up firebending has apparently manifested itself as a ridiculous amount of hotness. Regina is the mayor. She apparently runs this joint and has a fine collection of designer suits. Ozai regards his reflection in the mirror, pleased.

"so that's what that button does" he mutters approvingly to himself - as he begins a plot to take over the entire land. This so called America will soon bow to him. He will be the most exalted Phoenix King...err Queen, once more.

-o-

This feeling of goodwill instantly evaporates as a small boy who looks exactly like the stupid child Avatar (except with hair) comes running in, bitching about how "Mom" has to drive him to "school" or he is going to be late.

Ozai realises with some horror that he is this "mom" person.

-o-

Phoneix Queen plans on hold, Ozai takes the avatar to school - and signs him up for extra maths lessons.

Ha - take that Avatar!

-o-

Elsewhere and sometime later...

Sexy fabulous Katara wakes up in her sad panda apartment and sighs. It is her 24th birthday and she is all alone. She has nothing to do today except catch more criminals, like the awesome bounty hunter she is. She should be pleased with her life, but she's not really.

She makes a birthday wish that just once, something great will happen today and she wont have to spend her birthday alone.

Just then, there is a knock at her door.

-o-o-o-o-

Notes:

I have no excuse. I saw the idea of a Once upon a Time and Avatar crossover over at the Zuko and Katara Livejournal group and behold - Into the Woods was born. Expect deep fried crack from here on out.


	2. Dreams of fire and ice

Hank Miller hates his life right now. That's why he was here, in front of this strange apartment – chasing a dream. Something has definitely gone askew in his life and he feels sure that this Katara can fix it.

A short while ago, Mom started acting really weird. She'd signed him up for all these extra maths classes, she made him eat lots of broccoli, she hid the TV remote. That sort of thing. Really evil stuff. It was like she was going out of her way to punish him for some unknown crime.

On top of that were the dreams. Around the same time that Mom started to cook lots of corned beef, even though she knew Hank hated it, he started having these dreams.

Maybe it was the corned beef?

But the dreams were weird. Dreams of fire and ice. Towering earth and whirling winds. In his dreams, Hank was someone called Aang and he was Very Important and he had magical powers. He'd like that feeling. He used to be called Henry, but since the dreams he started asking everyone to call him Hank. The hard A sounded a bit more like Aang. Being called Hank felt better.

The dreams distracted him all day.

It was his maths teacher, Mr Sokka, who had helped Aang make some sense of the dreams.

Mr Sokka had noticed how difficult Hank found it to concentrate. When Hank told him about the dreams and how vivid they were, it was Mr Sokka who suggested writing them all down. Hank could think of it like the working out in a maths problem – writing it down would help him make sense of it.

So Hank had. He'd written and he'd drawn as best he could, and a small book about people fighting with the elements had emerged. Hank was Aang, the only one who could bend all the elements – so he was the centre of this world.

He always had the same dreams with the same people – and then he started to notice the from his dreams inside the people all around him. Mr Sokka seemed like the Water warrior. His Paediatrician Dr Fanning looked exactly like how he dreamed the Kyoshi warrior Suki would. Ruby Irons was sassy just like the blind Earthbender Toph. Sheriff Zuko was a dork disguised as a hardarse – just like the fire prince. There was only one person missing – the beautiful water girl called Katara. Hank dreamed of her every night – but he couldn't find her anywhere in town during the day.

One day he'd typed her name into google, and it eventually brought up her website. She was a bounty hunter and private detective. She was beautiful. She looked just like the girl in his dreams, only a little older. Hank knew that he just had to see her. So while it may have seemed crazy to other people, Hank felt that it was only reasonable to steal Mr Sokka's credit card and go and visit her.

-o-

When Katara had wished for some company, she should have been more specific.

Instead of a hot tall guy, she got a small insane boy.

The boy stood at her door and stared at her entranced. Then he talked a mile a minute about bending, and weird dreams and his mom hiding the remote.

Katara could see that this kid was crazy and lost. She knew the best course of action would be to find out who he was and where he lived and take him back there. She knelt down so that she was on the kid's level and put her hands on his shoulders, and said in calm voice "Listen Kid, how about we start with your name and where you live."

Katara thought that she was being calm and reasonable, but this action did not calm the kid at all. It did the opposite of calm. It did what red cordial did to kids. The boy's eyes went wide and he practically threw his arms around her neck.

-o-

Katara took him by the shoulders, just as she had done in another world, when she pulled a half frozen boy out of an iceberg, and suddenly everything came back to Hank in a rush...or was it Aang now. As soon as Katara took him by his shoulders – he remembered **everything!**


	3. the magic touch

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

The magic touch

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Katara Swan, famed bounty hunter, did not need this right now. She did not have time to deal with a hysterical child who claimed that they were super ninja best friends. She eventually got his full name and his home address out of him.

He'd come over two hours to see her.

Oh boy.

There was nothing for it but to take him home and make sure he got there safely. Katara was cold, but she wasn't that cold. She wasn't about to let an unaccompanied minor make that trip.

-o-

For more that two whole hours she listened to this kids rich fantasy life. Hank had quite an imagination. He had this whole story in his head about the adventures they'd had together. Apparently she had some sort of magical powers that had hitherto been undiscovered. She could move water with her hands. She was in some sort of Gaang with a blind girl who could move earth, an angry boy who could move fire, her brother (who had no magical powers) and his girlfriend (who also lucked out on the magical power front.) Hank claimed that he could move air as well as all the other elements– and that he was their leader because of that.

Katara raised her eyebrow here. She had, at this point, decided to play along with the kid's fantasy, and had been nodding along to everything, but she couldn't see why he got to be the leader. They had a small, good-natured bicker about that. Katara was almost having fun.

Hank was crazy...but gosh, was he ever a loveable kid.

-o-

Aang was so excited!

Katara believed him! She'd been nodding along to everything- so she must remember to!

They'd get back to Storybrooke, find Sokka, Suki, Zuko and Toph and then...

Maybe he'd get Katara to touch them – that was all it had taken for Aang to remember. Maybe Katara's touch would break the curse. Then the six of them could figure out what had happened, and maybe undo what Ozai had done...

A thrill of horror ran through Aang as he realised just who Ozai had become in this strange new world.

"Oh my God! Katara, I'll need you to touch my friends right away." Aang cried out with alarm.

"Woah Hank! Hold up there. I am not touching your funny little mates – what is wrong with you!" Katara is shocked and disgusted at the 'bad touch' implications of what Aang just said.

"Not like that. Besides they're adults here so it's okay." Aang quickly explains. Katara gives him a look that says_ Adults or not – I still don't touch random strangers. _

"Hank, I'm just taking you back to your Mom – there will be no touching of your friends okay?" Katara says firmly.

"No – you can't take me back there! You can't! Don't make me go back to her – I want to stay with you!" Aang is in full on panic mode.

"What, why?" Katara says, her voice is guarded, but her eyes flash with concern.

"Because she's evil!" Aang insists.

-o-

Hank obviously had **issues** with his mother. Katara wasn't sure how much was in the kid's fanciful imagination, but she was concerned none the less. She was a great judge of character – so she told herself that she would just meet the mother and see for herself, how evil this Regina really was. If Regina gave her "bad touch" vibes, she put a word in with child services. That would be her good deed done for the day.

After she'd made sure Hank would be okay, she could get the hell out of Storybrooke, and back to her old life.

But then she'd met Sheriff Zuko, there had been a series of calamities, and she'd ended up booking a room in Uncle's and thinking that staying in this pokey town might not be so bad.


	4. Through the Looking Glass

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Through the looking glass

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

As Regina watched _the fake her_ parade around the bedroom in fancy lingerie, she couldn't help but think to herself, that perhaps in some ways she had this coming. The Curse had experienced _Unknown error number: 16754. _This was the error number for **big red button related snafus.** She was now trapped in her own mirror, by her own curse malfunction and plot convenient magic.

This was by far either the most elaborate revenge plot ever, or the most ridiculous thing to have ever happened to her.

She discounted the revenge plot. Gold was twisted, but he wasn't this twisted – also he hadn't come to gloat. This was way beyond the wiles of the Snows and the Charmings of this world – besides revenge wasn't really their thing.

She hadn't see any of her fellow fairytale characters since _it_ happened. She found that she oddly missed them. She liked being their evil queen and lording it over them – and she did a damn better job at it that the imposter standing before her.

The Buffoon over-egged the evil pudding. They had an inordinate fondness for maniacal laughter, ridiculously convoluted plots and puppy kicking. Also a disconcerting love for her designer outfits, lacy lingerie and embarrassingly, the thigh-high boots she kept in the back of her closet.

Today the Buffoon plumbed new depths of human stupidity. The Buffoon evidently wanted to "Take over the Land". Regina could tell this because the Buffoon had gotten out a whiteboard to start brainstorming. The whiteboard read:

**Taking over this Land. **

**A rough plan:**

**Step 1: Set everything on fire.**

**Step 2: Kill all remaining survivors. **

**Step 3: Set everything on fire again (just in case). **

**Step 4: ?**

**Step 5: Profit?**

**Step 6: World domination. **

**Step 7: Mwahahaha. **

Regina rolled her eyes and muttered "amateur" under her breath. Inexplicably, the Buffoon hear this, due to plot convenient magic.

"who's there?" the Buffoon whips around, making sure to fan her hair out like she thinks she's in a shampoo commercial.

"It's me." Regina calls from the mirror.

"Who's me?" The Buffoon asks as she comes over to the mirror and readjusts her cleavage.

"Me! The woman who's body you snatched – and if you don't give it back I am going to boil you in oil!" Regina threatens.

"Gah!" the fake her jumps back in surprise – then comes forward to touch the mirror in curiosity.

"You're stuck in there – aren't you? How can you boil me in oil if you are stuck in a mirror". The Fake her just loves to test fate. Regina is not sure how she will get her revenge on this imposter, but she vows that she will. But first she needs to find a few things out, now that they are talking. She plays meek.

"Yes, fine – you got me. I am trapped here. But I just dislike seeing you make a fool of me – that taking over the land plan is just amateurish. I could help you...if you like."

"It's not amatuerish – I've tried this plan before. It's a good plan!" The buffoon is defensive.

"How did it work out for you before dear?" Regina asks sweetly. The buffoon does some disgruntled mumbling about being beaten by a twelve year old, before saying "you can't expect elaborate, well-thought out plans from me! I'm only a cartoon villain after all!" a bit defensively.

Ah ha – now they were getting somewhere.

"Cartoon villian eh? Just out of curiosity, who are you exactly?" Regina is acting like they have just been introduced at a brunch.

"Firelord Ozai, ruler of the entire firenation empire." The Fake her puffs her chest out proudly.

A man! Her body had been taken over by a man! Well it did explain the fake her's complete fascination with boobs, coupled with her complete inability to work bras. Fake her struggled all morning trying to clasp up one of her more lacy numbers.

"And, one villian to another - how did you get here, Firelord Ozai?" she asks pleasantly.

"I pushed a big red button." The firelord answers plainly.

"Was this big red button covered in warning signs?" Regina tried to keep the irritation out of her voice. This Firelord really was an amateur.

"Maybe" he said sheepishly, like Henry did when he had his hand caught in the cookie jar.

"Did you even know what it did before you pushed it!" Regina could help but snap. The firelord was an imbecile.

"Well who are you to get all high and mighty on me. I don't have to take this from a mirror lady!" the firelord snaps back.

"I am Evil Queen Regina! I am the most powerful, magical badass you will ever meet. I cursed An Entire Kingdom to **a lifetime of sadness **and has us all magically transported here – just so I could lord it over them. Believe me - you don't want to mess with me."

"But I brought everyone with me from my own land." The firelord said, looking confused.

"Yes, well – You ill-thought out red-button pushing has overridden my curse." Regina confessed, angrily. All of her darling cursed fairytale characters had been zapped into the ether between the worlds, when that big red button was pushed. She, as the original curse caster, had to remain behind, trapped in the mirrors.

"So does that mean everyone I brought over here is incredibly miserable? Even my own kids?" The firelord enquires.

"Probably – the curse will still have the same effect." Regina says, a little cautiously. She would never wish to make Henry unhappy, so she is trying to be delicate.

"Yes! Suck it Zuko!" the firelord does a fist pump – evidently he is not as sentimental about his own kids.

Just at that moment, the door bell rings. It is sheriff Graham Zuko. The firelord seems a little thrilled at this.

-o-

Regina can move between mirrors in the house, and she watches the goings on at the door, from the hallway mirror. On the step is the new sheriff. He is not her Graham – but he is handsome, pleasant, eager to keep the town safe and do his job. Regina does not know much about him, except for the fact that he does not deserve the barrage of crazy coming his way.

"Hello Regina, I'm sorry to disturb you, but I am just trying to track down Hank?" the sheriff says, business-like but kind.

"My God – you are still chasing down that child! I've cursed us to bizzareland and you are still stuck chasing the avatar!" the fake her, firelord Ozai laughs manically. This statement and subsequent laugh seem to completely confuse Sheriff Graham Zuko. He blinks twice, pauses and then continues like Fake Regina has not spoken.

"Mr Sokka has told me that he has not shown up for class, again. Do you realise that he has been skiving off school for these past few days?" He sounds a little more uncertain now.

"You really must hate this job. It is small and boring and makes you feel insignificant. Now you have nothing better to do with your time than bother your betters." Fake Regina says, and then chortles to herself that this is "sweet sweet justice."

The Sheriff is officially lost in this conversation. He thought he had just told the Mayor that her son was missing, not given her a speeding ticket. He is used to that sort of abuse when he pulls people over for speeding – but he has become accustomed to more parental worry and cooperation when it comes to dealing with missing children. Something about Regina seems very off today.

"Regina, for give me if I am being rude, but have you been drinking?" The Sheriff is concerned.

"Yes! I have been drinking the sweet nectar of revenge!" Fake Regina states and then laughs her arse off. The she leans over and gives Sheriff Graham Zuko a slap on the back and says "I am just glad that it still sucks to be you Zuko!" before she slams the door in his face.

-o-

Sometime later...

"Oi, You on the couch – Stop playing with My Boobs and Get Off Your Arse and Go Find My Son!" Regina has officially lost patience with the Firelord inhabiting her body and has taken to shouting at him from the mirror. Regina is not sure if there is any of Henry still inside Hank. She is not certain how he would be affected by the Big Red Button Curse – however she feels it is crucial that they keep Hank safe, all the same.

Eventually, the Firelord shifts himself, muttering. "Fucking women, always nagging me about the kids. You're bloody worse than my own wife, you are."

"I am the Evil Queen! I am worse than everybody's wife, you horse's arse."

-o-

If anyone had seen this, they would have seen Regina having a very spirited argument with herself in the mirror. They would have been forgiven for thinking that she had completely taken leave of her senses.

Perhaps she had - the Firelord inhabiting her body is certainly driving her stark raving mad.

For the first time, Regina starts to actively plot how to end her own curse.

-o-

Notes: For those of you who don't watch Once, Regina is the only character from that show who will make an appearance. she's a fun character. My take on her; I think she is deliciously evil. She loves Eviling it up...but she also loves her son. she's clever, a snappy dresser and a competent villian. I imagine that she would get very frustrated with Ozai's style of villiany.

Also Once, though I love it, is afflicted with an abundance of plot-convenient-magic. So Plot convienient Magic will abound in this fic too.

Onwards - to adventure!


End file.
